We’ve all seen lists of emojis we apparently need, but so far all they’ve come up with is bacon and Starbucks. Really, that’s it? Here are 7 emojis we genuinely need right now, and would quickly make to the top of our most-used list.DO NOT DISTURB
We all have that friend that serial-texts you while you’re at the office, watching movies, out on dates, and even when you sleep. Unfortunately, short of telling them to shut their traps, there’s nothing much in the pictorial form to help you out. A subtle ‘Do Not Disturb’ emoji would bring an end to your phone’s constant buzzing without hurt feelings. It works in hotels, so what’s to say it wouldn’t work through text?KAWAII
It’s well-established that cats and babies have long dominated the Internet with an (adorable) iron fist. So why don’t we have an emoji to express our adoration? Sure, you could use a hundred exclamation marks to emphasise the cuteness of your friend’s newborn child or litter of kittens, but it’d be much easier to get the point across with across with a single, all-encapsulating image. Until then, we’re putting a kibosh on all things cute!SPIT TAKE
Generally speaking, emojis communicate how we’re feeling in the absence of words (or more likely, when we’re too lazy to use them). Unfortunately, spitting coffee through your phone isn’t a thing yet, but why should that put an end to the dramatic effect? The classic spit take is an emoji essential for when someone drops a bomb on you through text, such as “You realise Cindy is a dude, right?” or, “I lost my virginity to a mango.”DOUBLE-CHIN
Nobody really wants to hear about how you’re struggling on your juice detox, or that you just spent three hours at the gym toning your calves. It’s much more fun revelling in gluttonous over-indulgence! So the next time your bestie is rattling on about the spinach smoothie they’re having for lunch, you could come back with, “I just had three cheeseburgers and I regret nothing.” Boom! Double-chin emoji in yo’ face. NOT BAD
While there are plenty of emotions to choose from, there still isn’t anything to represent mediocrity. If we were to base our real lives off emojis, one would assume that everything is either insanely awesome or blackened with misery. The ‘Not Bad’ face would fill the in-between, for the mildly impressed but not quite amazed. That way, you’d show your approval without making others think you’re emotionally invested in every single thing they tell you.SPIDER-MAN FACE
How do we not already have this in emoji form? This brilliant expression, coined by Toby Maguire in Spider-Man 3 outtake, is the perfect fact to admit all guilt, but still weasel your way out of it due to the sheer amusement the other party would experience upon seeing the sheepish grin. Reserved for especially cheeky moments, such as when you ate the last donut or farted on your brother’s pillow.IMPOSSIBRU
Ever heard something so ludicrous it had to be ‘impossibru’? Precisely why we need this emoji to happen – because saying it with words has nowhere near the same effect as a scrunched up face that looks as if it just swallowed a fistful of WarHeads sour candies. It’s really the only logical way for you to respond when you hear things like your friend finishing Demon’s Souls in a day, or that they watched Up without shedding a tear.
This article was originally published in JUICE Singapore February 2015, Issue #197, and has been updated for accuracy and comprehensiveness.