The holidays are finally here! That means warm smiles as gifts are unwrapped, full bellies after festive feasts, and one last chance for musicians to make a grab for your cash with last-minute holiday merch that often doesn’t arrive until March. While some creators see the holidays as an opportunity to fuel creativity through endearingly ugly sweaters and unique knick-knacks, others repurpose garbage designs in an effort to avoid flying economy class on their next tour. We present to you the best and worst merch of 2017.
Run The Jewels | RTJ Holiday Knit Sweater Vest | USD 70 | Buy
Repping RTJ and flipping off your least favourite relatives with festive cheer.
Daft Punk | Limited Edition Discovery Era Ornament Set | USD 45 | Buy
The kings (or queens – do robots even have gender?) of creative holiday gifts are back to bauble up your Tannenbaum harder, better, faster, stronger.
Descendents | 2017 Holiday Sweater | USD 59.99 | Buy
Milo gets knitted!
She & Him | Cookie Rolling pin | USD 14.99 | Buy
Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward are almost like patron saints of indie Christmas by now, so a utensil made for some wholesome holiday baking sounds just dandy.
Metallica | 2017 Master of Puppets Holiday Sweater | USD 89.99 | Buy
The thrash metal pioneers change very little to their iconic album artwork, yet remain masterfully on-theme with the crucifixes.
Beyoncé | Thicc Purple Crew Neck | USD 55 | Buy
Low effort print + low rent meme + off-theme colours = hot trash.
2 Chainz | Dabbing Santa Underwear | USD 13.99 | Buy
Recycled design from 2016 + clip art aesthetic + outdated dance move = hotter trash.
HAIM | Most Wonderful HAIM of the Year T-Shirt | USD 35 | Buy
Hey HAIM, here’s Something to Tell You: hire a new designer.
Slipknot | Holiday Knit Sweater | USD 75 | Buy
Not so (sic).
Gucci Mane | Button Pack | USD 7.50 | Buy
This button pack is a lot like the Big Guwop’s latest guest verses: lazy and unremarkable.